[?] Granny decided to go to the zoo. She had the most awful time getting there since the bus she was on shot straight past the gates and she had to walk quite half a mile back to the entrance.

She hobbled through the gate (luckily she got a [?] ticket because she was so gruesome - the manager thought she might actually be one of the animals who had escaped at first!) and came up to the monkey cage. She groaned as she leaned forward to look deep into the cage and the [?] chimpanzee scuttled to back of the cage, too frightened by the noise and the sight of gruesome granny to come out again for three days.

Gruesome Granny decided to move on. She came to the elephants' area. [?] elephant was just trying on her new pale [?] sling-back sandals when granny appeared. Granny moaned as she looked over the wall. Elegant elephant fell off her sandals in a heap, frightened by the noise and the sight of gruesome granny. The keepers had to take her off to Helephant Hospital to recover - it took two weeks actually.

Gruesome Granny crept slowly towards the giraffe field. [?] giraffe was skipping about happily singing one of those jolly giraffe songs we all know quite well but can't quite remember. Gruesome Granny tried very hard to become jolly for a minute and join in but unfortunately it came out as the most awful hacking cough. Jolly giraffe backed straight into a tree, bruised her hip quite badly and was taken indoors immediately for the next six days.

Gruesome Granny wobbled slowly over to the big cat cage. She could hear sobbing coming from one of the cages - there, curled in a ball was [?] Tiger. Gruesome Granny couldn't be doing with tears and sobbing and shouted screechingly into the cage for Tearful Tiger to blooming well "SHUT UP!!". Poor old Tearful Tiger leaped up, shook his [?] old head twice and slunk back into his holding pen and there he stayed for as long as it took for the memory of Gruesome Granny to leave his poor [?] mind.

Gruesome Granny, having annoyed just about everyone she had met so far, lurched down to the water. Now [?] Hippo and [?] Crocodile were in the middle of a row. They were arguing about which of them was the most bad-tempered and, at the time that Gruesome Granny appeared in their midst, it was just about even.

Gruesome Granny decided to join in (well she felt she was pretty bad-tempered herself actually).

Um...shall we leave it there? Don't think I need say more do I? Shall we just say that Horrible Hippo and Cranky Crocodile found it very hard to eat their tea that evening, that the other animals, still in a state of shock from Gruesome Granny's visit, felt a little comforted by the fact that they would never, ever have to see her again, and that the manager of the zoo went home happily for his evening meal knowing that soon his zoo would be back to normal.