|
|
Winnie the Pooh and the Squodgasaurus
Christopher Robin was feeling rather edgy. He was at that stage of having a niggling worry at the back of his mind about what Pooh and Piglet were getting up to when he was not there to keep an eye on them. The kind of edgy feeling mums and dads have as their children start to grow up and become more independent if you see what I mean.
In the meantime, Pooh and Piglet were discussing their plans for the day. It was a bright, sunny day and the world was out there to explore and enjoy. They felt very much that they needed an “adventure” to plan and a small argument was under way as to what that “adventure” should be.
Piglet felt quite strongly that such an “adventure” should be fairly close to home and just a little bit exciting. Pooh was talking grandly about booking tickets, hotel rooms and was leafing through an Atlas of the World. (bear in mind that Christopher Robin would have had an absolute fit if he had any idea that an Atlas of the World was involved!).
An uncomfortable silence had settled over the pair when Piglet cried:
“I really don’t see a problem, Pooh, you talk about travelling here and there for our “adventure” when you have one right on the doorstep………”
“Oh really?” Pooh said a little sarcastically. “Just what “adventure” is that? Looking for Eyore’s tail again (when he hasn’t even lost it!) or playing pooh-sticks perhaps? Let’s face it, Piglet, there’s no “adventure” at all to be had round here.”
“Well, what about the Squodgasaurus then?” asked Piglet.
Pooh stopped leafing through the Atlas and looked at Piglet.
“Oh, um, yes, the Squodgasaurus…….had forgotten about him for a moment….um…. you don’t think that that particular “adventure” might be a bit too dangerous?”
Piglet laughed:
“Oh I see, it’s OK for us to go swanning off all over the world for our “adventure” but tracking down the Squodgasaurus on our own doorstep might be a little “too dangerous” eh? After all, Pooh, what could possibly happen to us?”
And so the plan was made.
Now the Squodgasaurus was a large pink, rather squishy, dinosaur with yellow eyes and a purplish nose who was thought to live in a cave just at the back of the sand-pit where Roo practised his jumps day in and day out under the watchful eye of Kanga. He was known to be quite fierce on a good day, and blooming horrible on a bad day, although no-one had dared get quite close enough to find out what sort of day it was at any given time!
The pair put together supplies of honey and acorns into their backpacks, locked Pooh’s door carefully and set off.
Of course, it took a little longer than planned to get to the sand-pit as, first of all, they had to stop off to tell Rabbit where they were going and Rabbit, being Rabbit, was not at all happy about their plan and many minutes were spent discussing the possible outcomes and consequences of confronting the Squodgasaurus on his home ground. Eventually, Rabbit’s fears were put to rest and Pooh and Piglet went on their way.
They came across Eyore on the river bank looking even gloomier than usual.
“What’s up?” asked Pooh in a rather “tired of all this” voice.
“My tail again I’m afraid,” moaned Eyore. “Gone again, I’m afraid.”
“Oh for heaven’s sake, Eyore, why on earth can’t you look after it? We really don’t have time today to help you look for it – we’re off on an “adventure” and missing tails don’t qualify I’m afraid” cried Piglet.
They did have a quick look around the area though, then looked up and saw the missing tail lying neatly along the middle of Eyore’s back where it had landed after a massive bounce from Tigger earlier in the day which had made Eyore jump quite six feet into the air.
Having reassured Eyore of the presence and correctness of his tail they set off again.
They stopped for a quick game of pooh-sticks (well you just have to don’t you?) but that was a disaster as it was such a hot and still day that they would have had to wait hours for their twigs to saunter through under the bridge.
On passing Kanga and Roo’s house, Roo called out to them to come in a watch him have his breakfast but they explained the importance of their mission and managed to scurry off before Kanga got hold of them.
At last they came to the sand-pit.
“Shall we just have a few jumps, first?” whispered Piglet.
“Hmm, well we could, couldn’t we? As we are here kind of thing.” replied Pooh.
They spent a pleasant time jumping quietly on the other side of the sand-pit from the Squodasaurus’ cave then made their way reluctantly to the patch of rock jutting out from the entrance to the cave.
They looked at each other nervously.
“How do we, you know, announce our arrival?” asked Pooh.
“How do I know?” snapped Piglet. “I’ve never had to announce my arrival to a Squodgasaurus before, have I?”
They discussed possible ways but couldn’t decide whether they should call out “Mr Squodgasaurus” or just plain “Squodgasaurus”, or whether to be very familiar and call out just plain “Squodge”!!!
“Would “coo-ee!” do the trick do you think?” ventured Pooh.
“We could try, I suppose.”
Well they coo-eed high and low and nothing happened.
They got a bit silly and coo-eed in different voices, you know:
“Coo-ee you silly old thing” (Rabbit)
“Oh blooming coo-ee then” (Eyore)
“Oh come on, please, coo-ee, please” (Roo)
“C.O.O. um not sure about the rest” (Owl)
They started to giggle and poke each other, as you do when getting silly, when suddenly, WHOOOOSH!!!, and there, in front of them, was a very angry looking Squodgasaurus, huffing and puffing like mad.
Pooh and Piglet took a step (well several actually) back and quivered a little.
“WILL YOU STOP YOUR BLOOMING COO-EEING RIGHT NOW” shouted the Squodgasaurus, his eyes flashing red and his nose turning black with rage.
“Oh, um, sorry…..um…..we didn’t think you were in,” muttered Pooh.
“WHAT DO YOU BLOOMING WELL WANT?” roared the Squodgasaurus.
“We, um…..er… were just wondering……um…….if you would like to come out to play?” rushed Piglet.
“PLAY? PLAY? WHAT’S THAT?” growled the Squodgasaurus “SQUODGASAURUS’ DON’T “PLAY” THEY….THEY….” Here he was a bit stuck for words as he couldn’t think of anything much that Squodgasaurus did actually do. “THEY….THEY JUST “ARE”!!! SO THERE!!!” he added for good measure.
Pooh and Piglet thought about this for a while then Pooh came up with:
“Well, of course you “are”, because I “am” and he” (pointing at Piglet) “is! But we do other things as well you know.”
“Well, that’s alright for some people,” shouted the Squodgasaurus a little more quietly. “You may very well have the time to do other things other than “being” but I am afraid I am very, very busy just “being” so I wish you would just go away and “be” somewhere else!”
Pooh and Piglet felt there was not much point continuing the conversation under these circumstances so turned to go.
The Squodgasaurus turned a bit pinker and cleared his throat.
“Er, before you go though, could you just tell me what “play” is? I’ve not heard of it before you see as Squodgasaurus only “are” and have difficulty understanding other “things to do” if you get my drift”
Pooh and Piglet turned back eagerly and started to tell the Squodgasaurus about all the things they did to amuse themselves. You know, jumping in sand with Roo, annoying Rabbit, bouncing with Tigger, leaping out at Eyore and, of course, the eternal game of Pooh-sticks.
By this time, the Squodgasaurus was sitting down, leaning against the wall of his cave, with a dreamy look in his eyes.
“Ooooer!” he said thoughtfully. “Ooo blooming er!! That doesn’t sound half bad, you know, much more interesting than just “being” isn’t it? Do you, um, do you, er, do you think I could have a go?”
So Pooh, Piglet and the Squodgasaurus (and yes they were allowed to call him just plain Squodge) went off to do all the things that Pooh and Piglet did every single day, they introduced Squodge to all the other animals and he was well received by each and every one of them (except Eyore of course but we won’t go down that road!). Rabbit was able to lecture Squodge on “etiquette”, Owl spent a good thirty-four minutes trying to spell Squodgasaurus, Tigger had at last found someone who could bounce higher than he (the squishiness helped a lot) and Kanga and Roo (at first having thought that Squodge was some sort of long lost ancestor – the shape was a little similar you see) adopted him into their household as a kind of au-pair which gave Kanga a lot more time for the housework etc.
Christopher Robin, of course, had a surprise on his next visit to Pooh and Piglet but they never told him that the whole thing had come about as a result of an “adventure” – after all, he would only have a whole load more niggling doubts in the back of his mind wouldn’t he?