Tarzan - but not as you know him! by Sam and Keiran from Little Thurrock Primary School

The jungle was alive with whispering and creaking noises.  The local tribesmen whistled as they made their way back to the village.

CRASH!!!  AAARGH!!!!

The tribesmen stopped and looked at each other, eyes wide with fright.  They looked around and could see, bursting through the undergrowth, a giant chameleon.   Eyes flashing and purple tongue thrashing right and left it smashed its way towards them.  Just as they were turning to run, in total panic, it disappeared.  They stopped and looked back.  There, in the middle of a clearing was a tiny grey mouse, calmly washing its whiskers and squeaking gently to itself.

The tribesmen stepped towards it and one of them was about to bend down and pick it up when, with an almighty bang, it ballooned into the biggest, most fierce, most angry stick insect any of them had ever seen.  It towered above them and the trees around were shaking in anguish.  It grabbed the nearest tribesman (yes, the one who was about to pick up the mouse) and crammed him into its mouth.  Two chomps and he was gone.

The rest ran wildly back to their village screaming and squawking.  Behind them trundled, not the stick insect but now a giant centipede.  Luckily for the tribesmen, all those feet were finding it difficult to negotiate the tropical undergrowth and it kept toppling over.

A village meeting was held and a plan was hatched.

Two of the very bravest tribesmen were sent out into the jungle with a net and a cardboard box.   You know and I know that there was no way they would succeed in capturing this creature with a net and a cardboard box, but, hey, at least they tried. 

I won't go into the details - you really don't need to know.  Let's leave it that they didn't return.  Well, actually, that's not strictly true.  A finger nail or two were found at a later date and carried ceremoniously back to the village so I suppose a bit of them returned!

The villagers held another meeting.  This time it was decided to call on Tarzan.  Now Tarzan wasn't the Tarzan we all know and love.  This Tarzan was a rather grumpy gorilla who lived deep in the jungle but could be prevailed upon, if you caught him at the right time that is, to help out in times of dire need.  Oh, and he was called Tarzan because his mother was a very sweet gorilla called Jane and she thought she should keep it in the family so to speak.

ANYWAY, the tribesmen set off to visit Tarzan.  They lost a couple on the way, one to a giant bluebottle which, when they looked more closely, turned into a tiny tadpole.  The other to a tiny tadpole who, when they looked even more closely, turned back into the giant bluebottle - they just wouldn't learn would they?

Tarzan was having a bit of a bad hair day if truth be known but he stopped his preening and primping long enough to listen to the tribesmen.  He hummed and hawed an awful lot, to the point where the tribesmen all fell asleep, but then leaped up with a roar and set off into the jungle at a smart trot.  The tribesmen, having woken with a bit of a shock, quickly gathered their bits and pieces together and followed on behind.

Tarzan, it has to be said, led a merry pace, dodging giant bluebottles, stick insects and centipedes, small mice and tadpoles with ease.  The monster was beginning to get confused and forgot quite what it was meant to be at any given time, so at one point he was blue, with stick-like legs (100 of them of course), a pink nose and a long black tail.  It was in this peculiar state that he arrived at the top of a waterfall.  It was quite, quite easy for Tarzan to push him over the edge and he tumbled way, way down into a river which whooshed him smartly out to sea.

The villagers rejoiced and presented Tarzan with a brand new hairdryer (for those bad hair days of course) and he set off home feeling decidedly pleased with himself.

The tribesmen quickly built a massive wall around their island to stop the transforming monster from coming back and the jungle settled down to live happily ever after.

Oh, and next time you see a great big bluebottle - just take a closer look...just in case...YOU know what I mean!

 

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