St George and the Dragon by Ash and Luke from Little Thurrock Primary School

Now you and I know the story of St George and the Dragon don't we?  It involved a lot of fire and brimstone, flashing swords and a brave horse didn't it?  Well, this version is slightly different.  Read on.

A village deep in the heart of the English countryside, on top of an extinct volcano, was under siege.  Everytime the villagers turned their backs, or even their fronts, they were attacked by a monstrous dragon who lived in a cave at the bottom of the volcano.  It would rush out at all hours, roaring and foaming at the mouth (turned out it had had bad bout of tonsillitis a few years beforehand and its fire had well and truly been put out - could only foam!).  It would snap its jaws and grind its teeth (quite clever actually - can YOU do that all at the same time?  No, I thought not!)

The villagers were thoroughly fed up with it all.  They couldn't get to the superstore two miles out of the village so were obliged to grow and cook all their own food which was quite tiring and dreadfully old-fashioned.

A small boy, whose mother was continually moaning and groaning about all this extra hard work, took it upon himself to contact St George.  How did he do this?  Well he had a pet pigeon who was partial to a smattering of Dorset Blue Vinney cheese and the small boy happened to know that St George was staying near a village called Puddletown in Dorset, right where the cheese was being made.  He attached a message, quite clearly marked "Sinat Goegre" (well, he was only small so we can't expect perfect spelling can we?) and sent the pigeon on its way.

St George, having eventually received the message (took some time as the Puddletown lot were not to hot on the old reading either!) set off to the village.  He armed himself with some hot pepper and mustard and a special potion of which only HE had the recipe.

As he came within shouting distance of the village, the dragon came careering out of its cave, foaming and roaring, gnashing and grinding and making a general nuisance of itself.  St George began to sing this song to himself:

"Tonsillitis, tonsillitis

You are a thing of the past

I have a magic potion

Which brings back fire fast"

The dragon stopped and looked curiously (and, I have to say, unusually for him, a bit pleadingly) at St George.

St George got off his horse (not the brave one, I'm afraid) and started mixing something together, still singing his little song.  The dragon drew closer.  St George stopped mixing and stood up as if to stretch and think a bit.  The dragon leaped onto the bowl and swigged down the contents in one gulp.  St George waited calmly.

The dragon looked very surprised.  His eyes grew like saucers and started to water.  He coughed...and coughed again.  His leathery cheeks grew quite pink.  He looked up at the sky, then down at the ground.  He hummed a little to himself.  Then he twizzled slowly on the spot and gently fell to the ground. 

The villagers rushed out armed with chains and padlocks.  They wound the chains round the dragon and padlocked all the bits they could together.  They manhandled him back to his cave and left him there with a bowl of water (they weren't THAT cruel).

Great celebrations were held that night in the village.  St George had one too many glasses of home-made cider I have to say and made quite a spectacle of himself...but we won't go there I think.

Nowadays, all is peaceful in the village.  Trips to the superstore are back on the timetable.  The villagers are getting lazy and fat.  Everyso- often a rattle can be heard from the cave.  Trouble is...that rattle is sounding rustier by the minute...had the villagers skimped on the quality of chain and padlock do you think?  Were the links and hasps rotting away do you think?  If so...how long would it take for the dragon to break free do you think?

I think it will be a question of waiting and seeing...don't you?

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