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Dwayne and Ricky
DWAYNE THE DWARF It was all rather unfortunate really; as if it wasn’t bad enough being a Dwarf and being saddled with a name like Dwayne, the final straw was the fact that poor Dwayne could not say the letter ‘r’. Dwayne was severely restricted in what he could say without causing instant hysteria, his rendition of ‘I’m dweaming of a white Cwistmas’ invariably brought the house down at the "Annual Elves of Low Height” Christmas Party. On the other hand, Dwayne did little to make himself blend into the background – he insisted in wearing his hair in what he called ‘dweadlocks’ which flopped in a most unattractive manner down the back of his blue ‘dwessing gown’ that he wore everywhere, insisting that he felt comfortable in it. Dwayne dwelt in the third mushroom on the left in Dragonfly Drive (poor Dwayne had not realized the obvious error of this address until it was too late!) Next door lived a Dwarf named Ricky (another unfortunate coincidence); Dwayne hated Ricky (or Wicky) with a vengeance – he was (or so Dwayne considered) a dreadful drama queen who spoke a lot of drivel. The last straw was when, during the course of an argument, Dwayne had told Ricky this (or rather it came out ‘Wicky, you are a dweadful dwama queen who speaks a lot of dwivel’) and Ricky had unfortunately collapsed into fits of giggles – not quite the effect that Dwayne had hoped for! After being made to look such a fool, Dwayne decided that he would deal with Ricky once and for all. At the end of the road dwelt a dragon called Dweeb. Generally, Dweeb was quiet and friendly, but only if a sacrifice involving live meat was made once a month. This was usually a sheep as they were creatures so incredibly stupid that they would wander happily off to the dragon’s lair on the promise of sweets! The night before Dweeb’s sacrifice was due, Dwayne called at Ricky’s house. ‘Good evening Wicky’ he smiled pleasantly ‘I’m tewibly sowy to bother you, but I thought that you might like to know that a famous film Diwector is coming to our village to see Dweeb tomowwow evening to audition him for a part in a film – as I know how keen you are on dwama, I thought that maybe you could just be passing by and…….well you never know’. Ricky was a very vain Dwarf; he spent the whole of the next day primping and preening and combing his dwindling greyish hair. At the appointed time he left his dwelling and went swaggering off up the road to Dweeb’s lair. He arrived at the cave and peered in. The last thing that poor Ricky would ever see in this life would be a pendulous, bloated veined Dragon’s tonsil as he was slowly and painfully shredded by the Dragon’s razor sharp incisors on his way to Dweeb’s gullet. The last that anyone ever heard of Ricky was a satisfied belch from Dweeb. The next morning, it wasn’t immediately noticed that Ricky was missing, but it was remarked upon in the village store that Dwayne had a particular spring in his step on that morning, and had been heard singing softly to himself and he skipped off up the road, dweadlocks flying in the breeze ‘Dweeb the magic dragon, lives by a twee, he usually has sheep for tea but this week was Wicky’!
1. What was the name of the party Dwayne went to?
2. What colour dressing gown was Dwayne in the habit of wearing?
3. What animal was the usual sacrifice to Dweeb the Dragon?
4. What was Ricky's last sight as he disappeared down Dweeb's throat?
5. Dwayne's song is taken from another well known song - what is it and can you sing it?
