|
|
ff
Whiffer - The Early Years
Whiffer the Whippet was born on July 6th, 1993 to a spiffing young couple called Steff and Biffer Whippet. He was the youngest of the family, his older brothers were Griff, Sniff and Stiff (called so because he had fallen into a bucket of starch when small and had never recovered). They lived in the car-port belonging to their owners, Mr and Mrs Cliff.
For many years life was good to Whiffer and his family but then disaster struck. Mr and Mrs Cliff had gone to Dover to visit their friends the Whites. Whilst out for a walk Mr White gave Mrs Cliff some toffee which got all tangled up in her teeth and, whilst twisting this way and that to unglue her choppers, she fell over the edge into the sea. Mr Cliff skipped over after her to try to save her but caught his cuff on a twig and bounced away over the rocks like a manic spacehopper. (Snippet of information: the local paper had the headline "The White/Cliffs at Dover - Tragic End" which is rather nifty wouldn't you say?)
Well the Whippets sniffled and snuffled for weeks in despair and in the end the family was taken into care by the Cliff's old neighbours, Mr and Mrs Squiffy Squibb. Now the Squibbs quite liked Stiff Whippet (well he was no trouble you see since that's what he was - quite stiff you see) but weren't too keen on the others. Gradually they left. Stiff would wave them goodbye from the clothes-line where he spent most of his days swaying gently in the breeze (where else would one place a stiff whippet after all?).
The family actually did quite well, Steff and Biffer set up a snuff factory, and Griff and Sniff went into pop music and played in bands such as Westliff, Oasiff and Nsynff. But poor Whiffer, after a bad experience as a chef in a restaurant owned by Jamie Oliffer, found himself living on the streets, sniffing around in dustbins which is how he met those killer sardines!!!
So sad.
1. What were Whiffer's parents called?
2. Why was Stiff the Whippet called Stiff?
3. Where did the Cliffs go to meet their friends the Whites?
4. What was the name of Whiffer's family's new owners?
5. What do you think Whiffer's bad experience in Jamie Oliffer's restaurant might have been?
