The woman with the silver gun checked the line in front of her, making sure that they were all lined up ready for her to fire.

 

Mad cat Kate was there, Chugger - his chimp firmly attached by a chain, Shane, mouth slightly open showing his razor sharp teeth, Moth the Pathfinder, Whiffer, smelling strongly of fish and finally Slack Jack, for once standing tall and brave.

 

The woman slowly lifted her gun and took aim.  Those in the line shivered nervously.

The sharp crack of the gun  whipped around the sports-ground and they were off (oops sorry, didn't I say this was an 800 m final?)

Well, having said that, it was supposed to be an 800 m final but as the gun went off everything went very, very wrong.

Kate, mad as ever, made off down the track but forgot where she was and took care to lie down in the middle lane to wait  for a passing car. 

Chugger, tears channelling down his face, couldn't see where he was going and chased off after Kate, dragging his Chimp behind him.  He tripped over the cat, chucked the chimp in the air who chuckled his way into the crowd, landing by chance on top of  Prince Charles who had popped in for a spot of entertainment.

Meanwhile, Shane snapped his sharp teeth, shot up the track as fast he could go heading for the water jump which had been set up ready for the steeple-chase.  He shuffled through the water, shivered with shame as he realised he was on the wrong track, saw the Chimp chopping Prince Charles on the head and sashayed over to join in.

As for Moth, well we all know that he thought he was the best at finding paths.  Therefore we would expect him to do well.  Unfortunately the path he chose to follow ended up on the javelin field just as Steve Backley was about to throw...........................say no more. 

Slack Jack, it has to be said, set off down the track at a quick trot.  He was really going quickly much to the shock of those watching at the back.  Poor Jack, having started so well he suddenly realised where he was, panicked and crumbled.  Nothing new there then.

So, it was left up to Whiffer to do the business.  His brothers Sniff, Griff and Stiff were in the crowd, Sniff and Griff waving madly, Stiff propped up against a railing (remember - the starch?).  Whiffer sniffed the air:

"Hang on" he whispered "Is that the whiff of sardines?"

He whipped his head from side to side and spotted a white plastic bag peeping out of Prince Charles pocket as he wrestled with the Chimp and Shane.  Whiffer took the most whopping leap of his life, whisked the Chimp from Prince Charles' back, unlocked Shane's jaws from Prince Charles' left ear and swept the sardine sarnies from the package, sat down where he was (on top of  Charles' head actually) and scoffed the lot.

The woman with the silver gun shook her head sadly.

"Oh well," she muttered "What can you expect in this day and age?" and sloped off to her day job (creating more silly  characters to join Kate, Chugger and the rest on the pages of www.storyteller.me.uk)

 

Questions:

 

1.  What was the race the characters were about to run in?

 

2.  What lane did Kate choose to lie down in?

 

3.  Who did the Chimp land on top of?

 

4.  Where did Shane end up?

 

5.  What happened to Moth?

 

6.  What made Slack crumble as usual?

 

7.  What could Whiffer smell in the air?

 

8.  If they had all actually run the race, who do you think would have won it, and why?