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"wh"
Whilst chewing on his wholly delicious savoury sardines, Whiffer's thoughts were elsewhere.
In his head he could see white clouds in a blue sky, whistling along in the warm spring breeze.
Swallowing the last wonderful crumb he woke up and looked around.
What a let down - a wet and drizzly alleyway in the backstreets of a town somewhere in the middle of England. All he could see were bins, rubbish, more bins and, where the alleyway came to an end, a whole lot of ......hang on.....a whole lot of brightly coloured cushions?????
Whiffer wheedled his way forward, crouching down with his nose to the ground (oops, sorry, I forgot to tell you that Whiffer was a Whippet - a Whippet with a glorious past too - but that's another story!), and his tail dragging along the gravel.
As he got closer to the cushions, he could see that they were moving. Only the tiniest bit but just enough for him to sense that something was hiding amongst them.
Suddenly, whirling like the blades of a high-speed helicopter, a small silvery grey creature shot out of the cushions and landed smack on Whiffer's whopping nose.
"Yeeeeow!!!" whispered Whiffer (whispering because the force of the landing had made him bite his tongue very hard) and jumped at least ten feet into the air.
"Yeeeow yourself!!!" wheezed the creature (who, I have to say, was pretty whiffy itself and, quite frankly, was not the most pleasant of things to have sitting on the end of your nose).
Then, in no time at all, more and more of the silvery grey creatures whipped out from beneath the cushions and surrounded Whiffer.
He whooshed and pattered and pattered and whooshed, trying desperately to get out of their way, all the while shaking his head madly to get the creature off his nose.
At last, with a great "Whoopeee!!!" there was a plop and the creature fell to the ground to join the others.
Whiffer wiped his eyes with a whopping great paw and looked down.
"Just a minute......" he whined, turning this way and that, "I know what you are... you're... you're ...."
He could hardly bring himself to say it and the creatures were slithering and sliding around his paws while he tried.
"You're.....sssssssssardines......that's what you are!"
"YESSSSSS" hissed the sardines "YESSSSSS we are sssssssardines, that's what we are and THISSSSSS is what you get for eating USSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!"
With that they all leaped on Whiffer in one wholly enormous leap and nibbled and gnawed, gnawed and nibbled until all that was left was his tail lying wistfully on the ground.
The sardines slithered away crying
"Onwardsssss and upwardssssss
"There's a cat called Pawsssssss
"Who likes a bowl of ussssssss
"In tomato sssssssauce.
"We can teach him
"A lesson or two
"By the time we have finished
"He'll be turned into glue!!"
Watch out, watch out, the killer sardines are about!