Introducing the importance of vocabulary and description in tales/writing

• Introduce the lesson explaining what you are going to do and why
• Give the students Sentence No 1 and ask the question "Who has done well in this race?"
• Give the students Sentence No 2 and ask the question "Who has done better in this race?" and discuss why they have come to that conclusion
• Give the students Paragraph 1 to read - discuss the mood of the piece
• Give the students Paragraph 2 to read - discuss the mood and why it is different from Paragraph 1.  Point out that both paragraphs are saying exactly the same thing (if they haven't noticed already!)
• The students could, at this point, highlight the positive and negative vocabulary in the two paragraphs
• Read  Tale 1 out to the Students (give them copies to follow) and get some feedback (any will do!)
• Read Tale 2 out and discuss why there is such a difference - they should be recognising the difference "words" can make to content, flow, length and interest..

Extension Work

• Start off with brainstorming useful adjectives and expressive vocabulary (both positive and negative)
• Give the students a related topic and ask them to write a "positive" piece (you may need to model again)
• They can read them out and discuss them
• Then move on to a "negative" piece - talk about that too.

Even more Extension Work (or a further lesson)

Use the Legend Building Activity to put what the students have identified into practice - with lots of brainstorms, modeling and initial groupwork

The Race

Darren broke the world record by running the 100 m in 9.5 seconds and beating Nick by 3 seconds.

The Race

Nick came a close second to Darren who ran a very fast time.

The Same Day

The sun was shining and the sky was bright blue.  The birds were singing among the ripe blossoms on the cherry trees.  Dominic skipped along the leafy lane and saw a fox out hunting for food for its cubs.

The Same Day

Patrick the Parrot perched high up in the trees.  The light squinted through the leaves and highlighted his blue and red feathers.  He thought he looked jolly splendid and was feeling very good, very good indeed.

He looked around him and suddenly a movement caught his eye.  Way down below he could see branches moving.  The sun lit the bottom of the forest with a bright yellow light and it was actually quite hard to see anything.

Patrick went back to thinking about Percy the Penguin and the trip to Paris they were intending to make in a week’s time.  He could just see himself at the bottom of the Eiffel Tower posing proudly – not sure about Percy mind – Patrick felt that Percy was a bit scruffy and needed a make-over before they set off.

Patrick glanced down again – was that a movement or not….he really couldn’t be sure …even if it was it was probably only Peter Porcupine trying to climb trees again (never any good at it – his prickles kept getting stuck in the trunks).

He went back to dreaming of Percy’s possible make-over and was just at the point where Percy’s feathers were being styled into an orange mohican affair when……crash, plonk, bang, smash, dribble, dribble …….he was falling, falling down through the trees, hitting branches as he went, crying out in pain and finally, finally he landed beak first onto the forest floor. 

High in the treetops, Percy Penguin cackled evilly –

“You’re so vain….”  He sang, his voice getting higher and more manic “How dare you say I’m scruffy…….me? The smartest penguin in town…….. Not so handsome now are you Patrick…………..haar haar!!!!”

He was so concentrated on his revenge he didn’t see Peter Porcupine drop from a great height (yes he had finally managed to sort the prickle problem out),after the first shock, he quite gently slipped through the leaves with a sigh, almost of relief and landed smack bang on top of Patrick.

Having conquered trees there was now nothing left to stop Peter Porcupine in his quest for power………………..hang on, was that a movement I spotted just behind you?

Patrick was sitting at the top of the tree.  He was blue and red.  There was a bit of light. He was happy.

He saw something move below him.  He couldn’t see very well because of the bright light.

Patrick thought about Percy Penguin and going to Paris.  He thought he would look good at the bottom of the Eiffel Tower but Percy was scruffy.

Patrick thought he saw something move again.  It could be Peter Porcupine whose prickles got stuck in trees.

He thought again of Percy and a new hairstyle for Percy then he fell down through the trees to the floor.

Above him Percy laughed.

“I am not scruffy and you are vain.”

Peter Porcupine dropped on to Percy who fell down to the ground 

Peter Porcupine was in charge.  Could he see a movement?